The Two Shall Become One

One of the most important issues in marriage is that of unity. In Genesis 2:24 when God created Adam, Eve and marriage He said, "...the two shall become one..." The term "one" describing the unity and intimacy of marriage as God created it is profound. It reveals God's plan for an unbroken and undiluted team spirit between a man and a woman that creates the greatest bond that can be experienced on earth between two people.

The best way to make sure dominance isn't in a marriage is for both spouses to be submitted to the Lordship of Christ. His will guiding the marriage creates unity and kills dominance.

The practical walking out of "oneness" occurs when a couple works as a team. This begins with the simple decision that neither the husband nor the wife will dominate their spouse. Dominance kills a spirit of unity and intimacy. The best way to make sure dominance isn't in a marriage is for both spouses to be submitted to the Lordship of Christ. His will guiding the marriage creates unity and kills dominance.

Another critical issue related to unity is in making important decisions together. This means that there is a standard in the marriage that establishes a clear understanding that we are one and don't operate independently of each other. This means that when we are making important decisions related to money, children, extended family, jobs or other key areas that we consult each other and respect each others input.

Karen and I will not do anything of any significance without each others agreement and blessing. Early in our marriage we were both independent and stubborn and made decisions on our own. The result was deep anger and resentment that almost caused us to divorce.

Today we realize that God put us together to be a team. We are better together. I can truly say that every decision I make with Karen is a better decision that I could make on my own. God has given Karen a unique perspective that is different than mine. I used to think her input was invalid because it was so different than my own. Now I realize that she is seeing a different part of the world that I can't see. Her input is invaluable to me as mine is to her. We make a great team.

Unity is critical for a marriage to work. This means that we don't dominate each other and that we respect each others input and opinions. Make it a rule in your marriage that you will never make important decisions without talking and praying together.

If you've made mistakes in this area, it is important to take responsibility for them and repent to your spouse. Ask for their forgiveness and commit to them that you won't act independently from them in the future. You can't imagine how safe this will make them feel and how much value it speaks to them. You also can't imagine how much better decisions you will make when your partner's input is respected.

Unity is the spirit of marriage. When we are one, we will always be happy, fulfilled and successful. When we separate from each other or dominate each other, the spirit of oneness is broken and we will pay the price. Be a team player in your marriage and commit to honoring your spouse.

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